To build a respectful relationship with your cat, it is important to understand how and what they communicate to us, and therefore to begin learning the language of cats. Let's explore the body language of cats and the way they express their feelings through purring and meowing…

Cat language and trust

To start a good relationship with our feline friends, it is important to earn a cat's trust, which is not always easy: it takes a great deal of patience and consistency. A cat "sees" humans as its peers, with whom it can build deep bonds of understanding. Let's keep in mind, however, that domestic cats are animals with a very strong survival instinct and are capable of living independently — which is why betraying their expectations and trust in any way can lead to the permanent breakdown of your relationship.

To prevent this from happening and to keep your friendship on solid ground, it is important to dedicate time to your cat — even just a few minutes a day: interact with them, play with them, talk to them, and when they are napping, avoid disturbing, stroking or touching them. It is important to respect their rhythm, and if they move away when you are about to pet them, do not force it.

To connect with our cat and understand their needs, we should start by learning the language of cats through their body language. It is important not to evaluate individual signals in isolation — remember that to get an accurate read, we need to observe cat language as a whole, otherwise we risk misinterpreting what they need.

The language of a cat's tail

Let's discover our cat's mood by looking at the language of a cat's tail:

  • Fearful cat: the cat's tail is held low and the fur is bristled;
  • Greeting: tail held straight up vertically. A sign of greeting and trust (commonly seen in kittens towards their mother);
  • Aggressive cat or imminent attack: the tail is lashed quickly from side to side;
  • Attentive and friendly: the cat's tail is straight with the tip curved inward;
  • Interested: the tail is curved downward with the tip pointing upward;
  • Male cat marking territory: the tail is held straight up vertically with a visible quiver;
  • Relaxed cat: the tail is relaxed, with the tip pointing slightly upward;
  • Submissive cat behaviour: the tail is held low or even tucked between the legs (as in dogs);
  • A state of irritation preceding an attack or flight: the cat's fur is bristled with the tail and body arched. This posture is used to make the cat appear larger in the face of danger.

The language of a cat's ears and eyes

  • Calm cat: eyes wide open, mouth closed, whiskers and ears relaxed;
  • Irritated cat behaviour: watching the tail, you will see it moving nervously. In this case it is best to stop approaching further, as the cat may even attack. The cat's eyes will be slightly narrowed and the ears folded back by almost 180 degrees;
  • Terrified cat: eyes wide open, pupils fully dilated, ears flattened against the sides of the head, mouth open with vocalisations and threatening cries. They are asking you not to come any closer; the risk of being attacked is very high;
  • Frightened cat: eyes open, pupils dilated but not fully, ears folded back by almost 180 degrees and held slightly to the sides of the head: the cat's pupils signal fear, but they do not feel strong enough to defend themselves, so they hesitate before attacking. They are more likely to flee if given the chance.

Cat sounds: types of purring and meowing

  • Meowing: some cats are true chatterboxes — domestic cats are more inclined to vocal communication than wild cats. When their owners speak to them, they respond with vocalisations, as if they had understood what their human companion was saying. In reality, a meowing cat knows from experience that their meows often prompt their owner to provide food or affection; so they will use this tactic at will. Similarly, if the human companion's voice becomes associated with something pleasant, the likelihood of the cat responding will increase. In short, as mentioned at the beginning, a cat considers us its equal: we condition each other, and this improves interactions between cat and owner, strengthening the bond;
  • Purring: that characteristic sound — a gentle rumbling "purr" — is typical of felines; it serves to express contentment or to obtain food and attention, and appears as early as the first week of life. This particular sound results from contractions of the muscles of the larynx and diaphragm: the contractions of the diaphragm cause the air to vibrate as it passes through the lungs. Kittens nuzzle against their mother and purr to get her attention or to be fed. In adult cats, purring occurs when they are stroked and cuddled. They rub against their human companion with their whole body or just their head, and often accompany this sound with a rhythmic movement of their paws — the so-called kneading motion. In most cases, a purring cat is happy and content, but it can sometimes happen that a cat purrs when in pain or feeling unwell: in this case, purring is a sign of anxiety, and the cat is using it as a way to comfort themselves.